Rewind

What can I say?
I mess up. A lot.
Well, I don't know what a standard base line of too many mistakes is. All I can say: I mess up.
A lot.
Good thing is, I've got this, I don't know...invention type caboodle.
Yeah.
I can rewind stuff.
Pretty much, it's cooler than the Easy Button and I got it off of eBay for $15.
Turn down for what?

Episode One

I told my best friend about my dohicky the night I got it and pushed the rewind button. You know? Those double arrow triangle things. 

I had told her about three or four times until I realized that she was being reversed and played back like a movie each time. 

I was like, "Check it out."

And she was all, "Okay."

So then I pushed the button, and was like, "So, what'd it do? Did it work?"

"Did what work?"

Seriously, it was super annoying until I started noticing her cat, Socks, repeatedly jumping up and anti-falling, I guess, from the window. Unnaturally, might I add.

The only thing that was missing was the TV static, like when you rewind old school VHS cassettes. 

Obviously, I had to wonder how great this remote's powers were. I wondered how accurate it's aim was, if I could make it specific to a certain person, room, or city. Did that person/thing/whatever else have to be in my vicinity, or could I, I don't know, pause Obama during his public address, rewind him, and see if he would say everything he just said over again, to the audience's dismay and confusion.

I tried it. 

To make sure my little experiment worked, I brought with me three clocks, an analog, a digital, and then a wrist watch. If I could really control time from a remote location, but in a way like I did at Sam's house, I could literally change the world. Like, how far back could I go. Could I kill Hitler before he was born without even stepping foot from my bedroom?

But, alas, it just worked on my TV, like a normal remote would do. No clocks ticked backwards and my mom still yelled at me in forward-moving nagging. 

I muted my mom a couple days later. 

Then I paused my little sister. 

No guilt. 

But, I can say I debated internally on how long I should leave them in their silent and statuesque states. Mom was so funny freaking out, mouthing, "Emma...what are you doing, young lady?" and Emma, of course, was doing nothing. She was frozen in the moment, mouth spit sogging the head of the Elmo doll forced in her mouth. 

I rewound mom back to the point right before I muted her, unpaused Emma, and then unmuted her. She remembered nothing. 

I had a Math test on Tuesday. 

Let's just say that the remote, if pointed at the chalkboard, can make things a whole lot easier for Mr. Chandler's Period 7 AP Calc class. 

The old bat didn't even notice, because, guess what, I paused him. 

Episode 2